Letters to Fraser: Two months

Dear Fraser,

We've been a family of three for nine weeks. I think I'll stop saying, "I can't believe you're ours," and "time is flying," because I know that's just how the rest of our lives together is going to be.

We took you to Sunriver for your first breaths of Central Oregon air. You loved it, and we loved snuggling up with you for morning and evening fires in the fireplace, long walks in the chilly, crisp air, reading, sink baths, mountain bike rides (for dad), your first visit to a brewery and cider house, the Grand Illumination at the lodge, visiting with Auntie Whitney (although you were quite fussy for her!), your first official "Rock pic," and Sisters Coffee on the way to and from.

You were, again, such a champ in the car. You love being on wheels--whether that's in the car or the stroller, and you're also a big fan of me wearing you, even though your head still isn't quite strong enough not to bobble around. You just love looking back and forth and all around. Especially outside. You're getting stronger every day, loving short bursts of tummy time, SMILING (!!!), enjoying being naked on the changing table, reading books, taking baths, and the sound of the door opening when Dad comes home from work (amen, I say, me too!).

We took you to Albany for your first Thanksgiving. Nana B gave you a funny turkey dress that might have been a pinch too small for you, but you wore it and made everyone smile. You were a happy baby for your grandparents, great-grandparents, and friends of your Nanny's. We loved celebrating Thanksgiving because we had you, our most precious gift, to be thankful for this year.

The very next day, we raced to pick up our Christmas tree before your first Apple Cup (disappointing outcome--that's all I'll say). We've gone to the same farm since our first Christmas in this house, and we hope we can continue this tradition throughout your life. I know you won't understand or remember Christmas this year, but it seems so magical having you here with us. I bought you a stocking that's bigger than you, and I took you to see Santa right before your two-month doctor appointment. He was a magical Santa, and you didn't utter a peep. We know next year might be a different story...

And let me briefly say that your two-month appointment was harder on me than it was on you, I think. I know you were the one to get three shots in your thigh, but I've never heard you cry at that octave, and the color of your face matched your red corduroy Christmas dress. We found out you're quite long (99th percentile) but not too heavy. Your legs and arms are quite skinny, while your cheeks and your belly seem to be chunking up. You're growing and changing every day, and you're certainly showing us your sweet personality. I don't like to tell people what an easy baby you are. It's true we're not doing a whole lot, yet, but I'm just savoring all the little moments.

Earlier this month, we met up with all the new babies from your birthing prep class. All the other families welcomed little girls, too, and it was quite fun seeing the other new parents. I took you to a new moms' group at the hospital, also, and I think we'll go again, and I also want to try the moms' group at the church in our neighborhood. Speaking of church, you like that, too. You sleep straight through. Maybe it's the fact that it's always quite warm--er, stuffy, or maybe it's the music, or maybe it's the sermon...those used to put your Poppi to sleep, too. ;) You don't really care what we do, I've learned, as long as you are well fed.

We're quickly approaching Christmas, and it's been cold and snowy here. I can't help but think about years to come when you want to race out into the snow and be the "first tracks" just like your dad said he yearned for as a kid. We're quite excited to get you into your Christmas dress and show you off at Christmas Eve service, pass you around the dinner table, wake up on Christmas Day together, share our first little family memories, and head on down to see your grandparents in Albany. I hope I never forget these "firsts" with you.

I do think ahead a lot, to what it might be like when you're a little older. Then I stop myself because I already can't believe how quickly you turned from a tiny newborn to a bigger baby with a budding personality. Soon you won't be our little Frankenstein, as I read you'll outgrow that reflex. And I'm wondering just how long your hair will stick up in the back. You might outgrow that hairstyle, but I bet we'll keep calling you "Rooster." Oh, and you're almost too long for the bassinet, which just breaks my heart. I'm not ready for you to be in your own room, even though it is just across from ours.

Please stay little as long as you can, my dear. I love you more than words can say.

Love,
Mom

Your first Rock pic!

Your first Thanksgiving!

Nervous throughout your first Apple Cup. Cougs didn't give you much to cheer about.

Meeting your friends Nora and Naomi.

Your nana brought up photos of your dad when he was a baby. We weren't sure before, but now we know. You're your daddy's spitting image.

Letters to Fraser: One month

Dear Fraser,

You're already one month old, which is almost unbelievable.

To think we became a family of three more than four weeks ago is incredible. You are the perfect addition, and our hearts are bursting with love and pride for the little being that you are. I've cried many days just looking at you because I'm so thankful you're here and healthy. And I've seen you change so much in these few weeks.

You are a peaceful baby and you don't seem to fuss too often. We usually know just what you want, unless it's around 7 at night, and then you just want to squawk or squeal until we put you in the bathtub. You love baths, and we love to watch you in the bath. I wonder if you'll always like water, it seems to really soothe you.

I wonder endless things about you now that you're in the real world with us. We did so many things together when you were growing inside--we took you to our favorite places, ate amazing food, ran lots of miles until we couldn't anymore, hiked, explored, and went to lots of workout classes together. You always moved and shook right along with me, so I wondered if you'd be just as active on the outside. So far this is true.

You're as active as you can be right now, and your neck is already incredibly strong. You love to have your hands up by your face, sometimes in fists, and we often say you're calling a friend. In those first few days at home, we couldn't figure out how to secure you in a swaddle at night--you always managed to break your hands out of the wrap. You also manage to scoot yourself all over the bassinet.

Speaking of the bassinet, I'll never forget our first night at home with you. We didn't know what to do at "bedtime," and Dad had fallen asleep on the couch. I didn't want to wake him, so I decided to put you in a sleep shirt (that was way too big for you) and set you down in the bassinet without a swaddle. You fussed and squirmed, but I didn't know what to do. I hadn't really read up on "the fourth trimester," so I just prayed we'd make it through the night and to morning. I don't think I slept for two straight days. I wanted to make sure you were breathing, and I just wanted to make you happy.

Thankfully, we went to the pediatrician just a couple days later, and he gave us a little pep talk on making sure we established your days and nights. We figured you missed being all snuggly in my belly, so we started setting the heating pad in the bassinet to warm up that mattress. And Uncle Joe gave us a pep talk on swaddling. We now make sure you get a nice bath, an extra-tight swaddle, and one more feeding with the white noise sounds of a stream of flowing water blasting in the background. It seems to be working, as you sleep well at night. Oh, and we've continued to pre-heat your bed.

You love movement, including rides in the stroller and in the car. If we're not sure what's wrong, we bounce you around in our arms or do leg squats holding you, and you usually simmer down.

You make a lot of funny noises, many of which we like to imitate, and most of these noises are accompanied by kicks and flailing arms. You also do what we call "Frankenstein arms" when we're changing you or when you hear a loud noise. I think it's a reflex. It's extremely cute. So are your unconscious smiles. I like to think you know my voice and Dad's and are smiling at the things we say to you.

Your belly is getting round, and you're eating like a champ. Your skinny legs and arms are starting to fatten up, but you still seem pretty tiny, especially to my friends who've had 10 pound babies. Your limbs are long--imagine that, and so are your fingers and toes.

So many friends and family members rushed to meet you in your first month. It was an outpouring of love and affection I did not expect and could never repay. People came bearing amazing gifts, thoughtful and filling meals, clothes, treates, and open arms for you. You've met all four of your great-grandparents, lots of aunties and uncles, and one of your six cousins, Audrey. She's two years old, and we think you'll be best friends someday.

We also celebrated some of your first holidays right away: first Halloween and first Election Day. I had so many costumes from your aunties, hand-me-downs from your cousins, and I wanted to make sure you got to try out each of them, so I rotated you through all of the costumes on Halloween. You visited Daddy at his office, Big Poppi at his office, and Nana B and cousin Audrey. I apologized to you once we finally put you in your pajamas. This was about 12 times more activity than you'd had your entire life! You were such a good sport with all the stimulation.

You and I like days when we have no plans and can just stay home because soon enough we will be out and about regularly. In fact, we didn't leave the house except for doctor's visits the first two weeks straight. My favorite days have been the sunny and crisp late fall days when we're able to go for walks--either I carry you in a wrap or you ride in the stroller. There are some bright orange and yellow leaves that held out on the tall trees around our house. Those trees must have known just how much I love their changing colors. I was so happy you were born this time of year.

We just took you to church for the first time, and I was so nervous you wouldn't make it through the service. Whenever we went during my pregnancy, you always kicked and moved a lot, and I would say to Dad, "Oh, Baby likes church." I was hopeful this would continue and amazed when you slept through the whole thing. Thank you, Jesus!

I know as soon as I sign off, I'll think of 17 other things I've noticed about you in the last four weeks. I'm beyond thankful for you. I'm proud of you already. You're the most precious gift from God. We prayed and prayed and prayed for you. Our friends and family prayed for you. And the minute you arrived, we thanked God you were you...you were healthy...you were ours.

You're about to change more as the weeks and months continue to fly. We're heading into the holidays, a time of year that makes my heart explode with happiness. With so much thankfulness, joy, and love in my heart, I know without a doubt it will be the best Christmas we've ever had.

Thanks for choosing me to be your mama, Fraser Mary. I love you.

Mom

Election Day attire