All I want for Christmas is...a black eye

Look beyond the bushy eyebrows and acne, people. Personal hygiene flies out the window when your eye is the size of a tennis ball.

The culprit? Skiing accident. 'Bow to the face during a gnarly noontime pick-up game. Tae bo class gone wild.

...

Laundry.

Laundry, people. I was rushing around and swung the dryer door open a little too close to my face (the washer and dryer are stacked at our house) Monday morning. It hit me and my eye immediately puffed up like you see in cartoons. Except in real life. I've seen that happen only once before in college hoops. Unreal. The best part? I had a doctor's appointment the next day for severe dryness on my left eyelid. The same lid. "Sorry, doctor. Can you please look through the bruise?" I should also mention I sound like a man with my seasonal cough and cold and could be having an allergic reaction to something I ate...or maybe it's bed bugs? Why not, huh? I asked the nurse to write, "General Basket-case" under Reason for Visit.

And, if my clumsy injuries weren't enough...poor Taylor did a doozy on his ankle about two weeks ago.

We're quite the pair. Move over silver and gold. This year's hot holiday colors are black and blue.